~This morning I skipped past the very organized timeline/to-do list in my bullet journal and just slipped out to the front porch to read and unwind my mind a bit. I think I am equally parts left-brained and right-brained and they are always ever competing for satisfaction. About two days of list-keeping and being highly organized followed by two (or more) days of book-reading, writing and flower arranging seems just about right. :)
~ I wish I could give the world a time-out, send everyone to the woods (or beach, or mountain, or desert, or glacier, or meadow) for a couple of days and just stop this crazy circus for awhile. The main reason we home-schooled our children through high school (though technically it was their choice) was because I don't think adolescents can develop a sense of self OR a sense of community and their place in it, when they are run ragged by schedules, busy work, social pressures, and lack of autonomy (see John Taylor Gatto's thoughts on bell-ringing and class theory for this). Seems to me, the grown ups of the world have the same problem.
~I wrote on Instagram a couple of days ago that this week we are finally having our decks replaced. It's been ten years (ok, 9 1/2, but I'm a rounder-upper) of waiting for this to happen; all these years with rotting, unusable decks that really were a source of embarrassment and discomfort for us. But when we moved to the little old house, we committed to paying as we go and not going into debt if we could at all avoid it. We had no idea what that would mean back then, but we had made that promise, so we waited, and other problems arose that needed our limited funds and those decks got pushed back and pushed back until I thought this building day would never come. But it did! And the waiting before has made the now all that more fun and exciting. Until the contractors (who really are nice men and mean no harm) showed up, and they kept saying things like, "You lived with this for ten years?" "Why didn't you replace this before?" and "Ten years?" repeatedly, and I started feeling all that embarrassment and discomfort again and wondering if we are just crazy people, instead of committed people.
It was enough to keep me tossing last night, waking up occasionally with an uncomfortable feeling. I had to take a time-out this morning and remind myself that simplicity can look like foolishness to others, and that's okay. All conviction runs the risk of mockery. But our conviction also might shine a light for others, might be something they think of again when they have their own choices to make about how to live and be in this world, and that is worth the small humiliations, I think.
~ This week:
- Reading: Hild, by Nicola Griffith, about the life of St. Hilda of Whitby. If you like historical fiction, this is an excellent offering so far.
- Memorizing: i thank you God for most this amazing, ee cummings.
- Inspired by: lots of vegan instagram accounts like this and this. Seeing all that gorgeous food helps me stick to my (mostly) grain-free, plant-based diet.
- Inspired by: the gentle, beautiful space at Wisteria & Sunshine. It's a private, fee-based site, but it's a gift I give myself, and Lesley is such a gracious soul it's worth the investment (about the cost of two coffees a month) to spend time with her.