Can we just chat for a minute?
I have been feeling pretty bad about neglecting comments and emails and not writing here as I want to. I know, I know, you are all so gracious and you always say you understand and it's okay and just do what you can, but I do feel badly about it all. the. time. Especially the comments and emails part. I like talking with you.
I always try to keep things down to earth and honest here. I read blogs too, and I know how quickly perceptions can get off...how someone can make themself seem like their life is more important or more interesting than it is...how a blogger that once felt like a friend can suddenly seem like a stranger and a snob...how you as a reader can feel left behind and ignored. I realize I don't have to explain any of this, but it is in my nature to be honest, so here's what's going on: we've got one child left to homeschool and he needs a good amount of my focused attention. We have family members wrestling with addiction. That takes a good amount of emotional and spiritual energy. Some days I can't think straight enough to wrestle out something hopeful to share. The older I get, the less flexible I feel. One bad phone call can put me out for a day or two. I'm trying to be patient with myself over that.
But even with those two things going on, I am still writing. I'm just not writing here much. A few months ago a story came to me. And I started writing it down. And I'm still writing it down. And the more I write it, the more I love it and the more I love it the more excited I get about the day when it is finished and I can share it with you and everyone else. I never thought I would want to write a book. I have been so happy writing my little bits here and there and anywhere God opens the door. But then He gave me this little spark to hold, and I have become fascinated with it and it is taking all my creative energy. And I think it should. When the Muse arrives, you welcome her. I had intended on keeping this quiet and not telling anyone until it was done, but now it is taking over enough of my time that I just feel silly not sharing it.
I have no idea what will happen after I finish the story. I think God is just going to open the next door when the time is right. One way or another I will share it with you, because that's what art, what creation, is for. I just wanted to tell you and let you know I have no intention of stopping writing even though I seem distant on this blog. More than ever in my life I feel the need to write and tell and share. It's my way of loving the world. And I do love you all.
Thank you for always understanding and being willing to wait for me through all the ups and downs.
much, much love.