kinder

I am learning that kindness is needed for the self, as well as others.  Last month was not the start of the new year so much as it was the recovery from the old year, (perhaps a lot of years prior as well.)  I tire easily, I get discouraged quickly; in kindness, I allow myself another cup of tea, another hour with a book.

Sometimes the urge to do something grand - to sell everything, move to another state, leave the last twenty years behind us and move on - is overwhelming.  But the phone rings and a young man whispers to me his fears and struggle, and I stand at the window looking out, sensing that we will stay, we will be here, roots deep down, because he needs us to be.  Others need us to be. We do not live this life for ourselves alone.

God give me courage to sink down deep, is what I whisper to the cold, pale winter out my window, and then I kindly pour myself another cup of tea.